My Journal

“Walking back from the center of town, after a pleasant dinner at my favorite local restaurant, I got choked up. This would be my last meal (hopefully at least) in my homeland of Mexico. As the sun disappeared into the colorful, majestic clouds of night, I began to prepare myself for the journey of a lifetime; I was going to cross the border and enter the land of the free: America. My two-room shack seemed abnormally quiet on this night, but every little noise added to my anxiety. Being that my journey would be a long one, I packed very light; a couple shirts and shorts, socks, a large canteen of water, and most importantly a jar of dirt from an eroded garden outside my house. This dirt symbolized my upbringing. Although I was embarking on a journey to a completely new country with an array of new opportunities, I will never forget Mexico. It has made me the man I am today. Because I can feel the tears beginning to form in my eyes, I am going to stop discussing my past and continue with my future. I laid in bed, or more accurately rolled around in a cold sweat, for nearly five hours before I finally fell asleep. I almost wish I hadn’t fallen asleep because my dreams (or nightmares) that night only made me more anxious. I saw myself in handcuffs pressed up against a border patrol vehicle. As I exited my home at 5:30 AM, I could not get that image out of my head. Everything was surreal; I could not believe that this day had finally come. My head was itchy, my face was as hot as the rising sun, my heart was beating faster than ever before, and my legs were shaking like leaves in a windstorm. I started this journey by on my own and hopefully will successfully enter America on my own. This journey was either the beginning of my new life, or the beginning of the end.”

“As I ventured further and further away from my hometown (a small town outside of Guadalajara) I became more lonely. There were less signs of civilization and the scorching heat even scared away most animal life. My imagination kept me going. I would think of myself wearing a nice shirt and a tie entering a prestigious company building somewhere in Los Angeles as a true American citizen. Imagine that? Everything else in my life seemed to disappear when dreams like that popped into head. Being alone was great for a short period of time but after a while it seemed to bring down my spirits. It made my journey feel endless. Luckily, after what seemed like hours of walking, a came across a small town smack in the middle of the desert. There was not much there but I was able to find a family who offered to give me a bed and a meal. Day 1 is complete.”

“The brightness and suffocating heat of the sun woke me up the next morning. The home that I had stayed in for the night was deserted when I strolled out of ‘my’ small room alongside the kitchen. There was a dish with fresh fruit on the counter in which I completely devoured within seconds. The sweetness of the pineapple and the tanginess of the mango rejuvenated my entire body and mindset. Not wanting to waste any time, I gathered my stuff, wrote a note reading “Gracias mis amigos”, and took off into the horizon. Because I felt great, concerning food and water, from the fruit, I failed to remember to pack any water for my day’s journey. After an hour of two of being pelted by rays of the hot Mexican sun, I began to die down. I saw something in the distance but I couldn’t make out what it was. MIO DIOS! (Oh my God!) In front of my eyes was a luxurious beach side resort. The pool was big and the water was so relaxing. There were trays of food and drinks just for me. Was I in heaven? I soon found out that this so called resort did not exist. Dr. Rivera told me the story when I woke up in a hospital bed the next morning. Day 2 is complete.”

“While sitting up in a hospital bed, sipping on a cold glass of water, Dr. Rivera told me what had caused my first ever visit to a hospital to occur. Apparently I suffered from a severe case of dehydration. Luckily, a man from the nearby town spotted my sprawled out on the dry, light brown dirt. The resort that I had seen was indeed a mirage. I thought that those only existed in movies, but I guess not. I thanked Dr. Rivera for helping me recover and I walked out of the hospital with my head held high. A billboard hung from a building directly outside of the hospital, “Come to America, the best country in the WORLD!!!” This was a sign; I had to get there. America here I come. Day 3 is complete.”

“I could feel it. I was getting closer and closer with every step that I took. My clothes were stained yellow from the accumulation of sweat and dirt from the past three days. The street signs alongside the roads were transforming from Spanish words to English words. No longer did the red octagonal sign read “Alto”, it read, “Stop”. After a light meal at a local taco stand, I rested my back up against a tree and went into a daze. I was not asleep but I was most definitely out of it. I had to plan my route to cross the border without being spotted by the bloodthirsty border patrol of America. I sat under that tree until the sunset and all light transformed to darkness. I spotted a group of about six or seven Mexican men that undoubtedly had the same goal as I did: get into America safely. As they disappeared into the dessert, I followed behind from a distance. I watched there every move. As we edged closer to the border my nerves skyrocketed. My hands were as sweaty as Patrick Ewing’s forehead after an overtime game. I became woozy and began to see dark spots every time I blinked. The six men that I had been tracking for nearly an hour kneeled down, almost waiting for a gunshot to go off for “their race” to begin. Five minutes later, they all went into a dead sprint. Their bodies disappeared until a big, bright light appeared. There were sirens and two or three gunshots went off before is all of the men pinned up against a cop car in handcuffs. I could not fully understand what the officers were saying, but they were screaming and physically abusing the men. After watching this happen, to fellow countrymen nonetheless, doubts about my master plan popped into my head. Why would I want to go to a country after seeing these men getting beaten and verbally abused? What is the point? I sat in my “hiding spot” for another five or ten minutes and decided to do something that I never thought I’d do on this journey. I turned my back to the border and began my journey back to my hometown in Mexico. There was no point for me to attempt to sneak into a country that truly did not want me there. Mexico was my homeland and that is where I will stay. My journey is now complete.”